How I turn an existential crisis into a positive mindset

Our insignificance helps me focus on what’s important

Photo: Author / Mădălina Vlăduță

Some would say I’m going through an existential crisis, because here I am, writing about feeling infinitesimally small and insignificant.

They would be wrong.

Existential crisis is also known as existential dread, or anxiety, or anguish. All those excruciatingly negative words used in association with something I feel completely at ease with — the knowledge that our very existence means nothing at all in the big picture of life, the universe and everything.

Let me explain.

My comfort with my relative insignificance is, I believe, a positive trait. It helps me achieve happiness.

Whereas people suffering an existential crisis often feel devoid of meaning or purpose in their life, lacking motivation sometimes for many months on end, a condition often associated with deep-rooted depression, I actually feel in awe of my surroundings when I consider the big questions — What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? What is the point of it all?

For me, it’s all about putting things in perspective.

Let me test your current mindset on this. I love the following Chats With The Void comic strip from talented illustrator Skullbird. But how does it make YOU feel?

Do you feel liberated after reading that? Or do you perhaps feel depressed? I’ve shared the illustration with friends and experienced views across the spectrum of emotions.

Personally, the knowledge that we are pretty much unrecognisable in an infinite, expanding universe, fills me with wonder.

I embrace the fact that, even if the entire universe was teeming with life, the vast majority would not even notice if the earth exploded tomorrow.

That isn’t morbid. That isn’t dismal. That is FASCINATING!

Here is an incredible short video you might want to view, powerfully putting into perspective the earth’s place in the universe…

So How Does This Help Me Deal With Problems?

The way I see things, we would do well to remember the inspirational words of Professor Stephen Hawking:

Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up.

I’ve just made sure Santa Claus brought my two young sons a telescope so we can study the skies, but I first came to think about the enormity of the universe and the insignificance of humans, by climbing a mountain.

From my lofty perch, touching the clouds, I looked down and across the patchwork of fields to see the city where I lived. It looked very small indeed. Very insignificant. Quiet. Not like it was on ground level, snarling with traffic when I’d left my home earlier that day.

As I tried unsuccessfully to work out where my street was, it got me thinking about all the people down there. Tens of thousands of them, all with over-active brains inside their heads, thrashing around good and bad thoughts, hopes and fears, excitement and anxieties.

None of which were evident from where I was sitting.

Of course it doesn’t make a problem go away just because someone on a mountain top can’t see it. But if each individual takes the time to step back from their own problems, view them in the context of the world around them — the universe around them — the problem can appear very small and insignificant, and not really worth worrying about at all.

I admit, that won’t apply for the big problems in life, but it covers a multitude of anxieties we carry around with us, which really have no place dragging us down.

Photo by Federico Enni on Unsplash

I Know My Place

I often worried about my desire to do something meaningful, make my kids proud, leave a legacy — until I realised that in almost everything we do, we are making a difference in some way to someone’s life — and we should try to make these differences positive ones.

So I am not saying our actions are insignificant in terms of our interaction with fellow humans.

But if you’re walking down the street, do you ever get a flashback to a time you weren’t there, but others were making their mark in the same place?

OK, this might be just me.

I don’t mean anything spiritual, and I believe it’s less random than a mind-pop — again I believe it’s more an appreciation of my place in the world, and in the history of the universe.

That sounds big, it sounds deep, but it really isn’t. Like, I was walking across a bridge today towards a shop to get some groceries. Under the bridge ran a railway line. And I began to think of the people who first laid that line, and those who constructed the bridge. and the hundreds of thousands of people who had travelled by train over the years on that line, under that bridge. What stories they would have had to tell!

I was adding to the memories of that location — if it was possible for it to have any — and again it made me appreciate that I’m simply playing a part in an epic adventure story, but it’s only a cameo role. And I’m good with that.

What Existential Happiness Means

It is possible to appreciate all the facts that give a person existential dread, but put them into context and perspective to encourage optimism and happiness.

So, I know that we are insignificant in terms of our size and impact within the universe.

But this makes me realise that:

• Life is short and I should make the most of it
• I can make impacts and be significant within my own setting
• I should choose my battles and not stress about things which ultimately are not important

This way of thinking allows me to take a step back in any stressful situation, and evaluate whether it is worth going down a rabbit hole of worries and arguments, or instead to let the situation slide by.

I wish my mind had worked this way when I was employed in an office setting. Looking back on all my years in busy, stressful environments, there were so many blood-pumping situations created for no good reason — people in management were not very good at their jobs, or somebody was just having a bad day.

In the microclimate of a working office, everything within those four walls appeared hugely significant. It was only when making the break to work for myself that my mind relaxed and I realised that many of the stresses had been worried about needlessly.

The Role of Religion

I have been told by religious friends that a belief in the afterlife cushions the blow, somewhat, of feeling that our time on earth is short and relatively insignificant.

So I can appreciate that if you are religious, you may not see things in the same way I see them. I am not religious in the slightest. I am comfortable in the knowledge that I am here once and should make the most of my time — it focuses the mind, it does not make me scared or anxious.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

The Take Away

I hope you can take something positive away from this insight into how my own mind works. I’ve always been fascinated by the big questions in life, the actual meaning of life, why we are here, whether we make any real difference, and so forth.

These thoughts can often make a person dwell on a feeling that life just isn’t important — but it is totally possible to appreciate the exact opposite viewpoint.

Be amazed by the planet we live on, and the universe we live within. Focus efforts not on trying to please everyone, but just being the best person you can be.

Try the best you can. Be as happy as you can. We don’t have to make an impact on the universe — we just can’t — so I hope you can live, love and be loved — and enjoy your existence.